


One Night.

by storming_wolf



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Actor Dan, Adoption, Alternate Universe, Angst, Dan and Phil Aren’t YouTubers, Director Phil, Engagement, Fluff, Groundhog Day, M/M, Non-Graphic Sucide, POV First Person, POV Phil, Parent Phan, Soulmates, Suicide, Supernatural Elements, pianist Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7796947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storming_wolf/pseuds/storming_wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil have been together for 6 years, and for Dan’s birthday, Phil plans to propose. However, that morning Dan is killed in an accident, and overcome with grief, Phil takes his own life. Phil wakes up in the In Between and is given a chance to live the previous day over again in an attempt to save Dan, but he only has the one night to restore fate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I was running late for a big interview with BBC. I had recently finished my masters program in film and was ready to kick off my directing career at 23 in the big city. The Tube was busy as usual and the door was closing. I shouted for it to wait as if it would have somehow made a higher being stop the train.

It did. And that higher being’s name was Daniel.

He was a boy who appeared to be in his late teens, with curly brown hair and headphones around his neck. He saw me running and waving down the train and stuck his head in the path of the door as it started to close. My eyes grew wide as I approached the door.

“Could you open it?” He asked, panicked. I along with a few other angry commuters tried to pry open the door with no luck.

It eventually took the train operators to be able to open the door and free him. Commuters were not pleased to have been stopped by his antics. Once he was freed, he looked me dead in the eye and said, “You owe me lunch mate.”

With a smile, I agreed, and we exchanged numbers. 

From there, our relationship grew. It went from an occasional lunch a few times a month to weekly movie marathons at each other's flats. 

I can't tell you when exactly it stopped being hanging out and when it started becoming dates. I grew to look forward to our time together. I knew for a long time that I had feelings for Dan, but I was always unsure about him. Sometimes he came off as just my friend, other times, it felt like more.

Eventually, one night with too much to drink made it all come out, quite literally. Dan had been afraid to admit his sexuality, but he confided in me and told me I made him not want to be afraid anymore.

That had been 6 years ago. Since then, Dan and I had officially started dating and moved in with each other. We had a smaller flat in London within a reasonable distance from BBC One where I was working a production assistant, and hopefully soon, an assistant director. Dan on the other hand had decided to take a break from uni(about 5 years ago, I should mention) and was giving private piano lessons in the meantime. He joked that he liked being a housewife, but occasionally mentioned how he wanted to do so much more with his life, so I managed to land him an audition to be an extra in a show I was working on.

Today, however, was not the day to dwell on things we could or should do with our lives. Today was going to be a special day, the most important day.

I had grown accustomed to waking up with Dan resting on my chest, but today was one of the few days I wished he hadn’t. Today was his big day after all, and I wanted to start it off right with pancakes in bed. Ah, because nothing screams romance like pancakes.

I slowly pushed Dan off of my chest just for his grip to tighten.

“Stay,” Dan mumbled, his voice groggy. I pressed my lips to his forehead and held his hand.

“I can’t make your birthday breakfast surprise from here,” I said, nuzzling his neck. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a soft kiss, rubbing his nose against mine.

“Be free my love,” Dan said dramatically. I laughed, giving him one last peck before going to the kitchen.

I got to work making him pancakes. From the room, I heard Dan put a record on and fill the flat with the sweet sound of Muse.

Life couldn't get any better than this. The man who had once been a stranger at a Tube station had become my whole life. I woke up thinking of Dan and I fell asleep dreaming of Dan. It was always him. 

I had known Dan for 6 years and he showed me a lifetime of love in that short time frame. And tonight, I would make things official. 

I had been saving up all year to get Dan’s engagement ring. It was a simple black gold band, something I knew Dan would love.

I was surprised I managed to wait until today to propose. Usually I'm bad with secrets, and hiding things. It helped Dan wasn't suspicious of my plans for tonight. He was going to have the best birthday ever.

As I wrapped up making breakfast, I noticed the music stop from the bedroom and felt Dan's hands snake around my waist.

“Can I kiss the cook?” Dan asked, nuzzling my neck. He only had a few centimetres on me in height, but it left him at the perfect height to rest his head in my shoulder and press his lips against my neck. 

“It’s actually encouraged in this kitchen,” I said, turning around and pressing my lips against his. His hands fell to my waist, pushing me back against the counter. I stuck my hand out to maintain balance as we made out, and it landed right on one of the surfaces on the stove. 

“Shit!” I winced, pulling my hand away and almost knocking Dan over. I reached for him as he slipped, grabbing him with the hand I just burned. “Shit!” I exclaimed again, letting go of Dan. 

“Let me see you spork,” Dan said, grabbing my hand. He walked me over to the sink and ran my hand under cold water. “The flat would surely burn down without me here.”

“And that’s why I keep you around,” I joked.

“And here I thought it was my good looks and sweet ass,” Dan chuckled, wrapping a rag around my hand. He placed our breakfast on the breakfast bar and we sat on the stools. 

“So, I have something pretty epic planned for your birthday,” I started as we ate the pancakes.

“Oh?” Dan inquired, looking me in the eyes with his big brown eyes. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes,” I went on. “I’ve arranged for a pretty eventful day for you. I know you said you needed a haircut, so you have an appointment at 10 while I get the rest of our day planned. We’ll be going around London and I’ve got a big surprise for you planned.”

“Oh, I’m excited!” Dan said. “Can we jump right to the surprise? I can get my hair cut another day.”

“No, no, no. I have to get the rest of it ready so you have to go,” I said. Dan pouted and gave me puppy dog eyes. “Pwease?”

“Breakfast, the cab is gonna be here in 30 minutes,” I said. “But I do have one of your gifts you can have now.” I presented Dan with a small wrapped gift. He unwrapped it to find a new phone case that had a collage of us together. 

“Phil, this is beautiful,” Dan smiled, giving me a kiss before putting the case on his phone. Dan finished off his breakfast and got dressed. He had on his oversized jumper with a pair of black jeans. That jumper could make Dan, who was almost 2 meters in height, look like a small, cuddly bean. I pulled him into my arms and kissed him again and again and again. He giggled with each kiss I gave him, placing his hands that were slightly covered by his jumper behind my neck. Once I finished, he was red in the cheeks.

“What was all that for?” Dan asked.

“25 kisses for your 25th birthday,” I said. He smiled, shaking his head. 

“I’ve got some big shoes to fill next year when you turn 30,” Dan said. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me of the big 3-0,” I groaned, peaking out the balcony from the living room. “I think your cab is here. I’ll meet you there at 10:45-ish, or you can run to the cafe across the street and get us some coffees.”

“Mmmh, I could go for a soy cappuccino,” Dan said. “I’ll text you, yeah?” 

“I’ll be waiting for it like my life depends on it,” I said, pulling him into a kiss before he left the flat. I walked into our room and sat at the desk, receiving a text from Dan as I sat.

_ Stop looking at my butt you weirdo XD _

**_Never._ **

_ I love you, Phil _

**_I love you too._ **

I put my phone down and got to making phone calls for Dan’s birthday surprise.

“Hello?” I heard PJ’s familiar voice on the phone.

“Hey Peej, Dan just left. Muse is still on for today?” I asked.

“I was just about to call you, their interview moved up to 13:30,” PJ said.

“Alright, I’ll see if I can find a vegan restaurant close to the studio,” I said. “You are literally the best for pulling this off for me.”

“Anything for a friend,” PJ said. “I’ll be sure to text you if anything changes again.” 

“Thanks Peej,” I said before hanging up. I went into the closet and changed into a simple button down and some nicer jeans. I grabbed the ring and slid it in my pocket. I caught the Tube to a florist and got Dan a rose. By time I left, I figured Dan’s haircut should be wrapping up. The salon wasn’t too far from the florist, so I decided to walk.

As I walked down the street towards the salon, I noticed that there was a lot of emergency vehicles down the road, so I assumed there had been a car wreck. Walking towards the commotion, I saw a familiar looking phone lying next to a bloody hand. The person was wearing a familiar tan jumper as well. Once I was in full view of the scene, my stomach dropped. 

It was Dan.

He was lying face down on the pavement, blood staining his jumper. His phone was lying near his hand, the phone case I had given him that morning cracked.

I couldn't tell if I was running towards the scene or standing still, my body felt so numb, but as police officers held me back reality came into view.

“STOP! LET ME THROUGH!” I shouted. “That's my baby, oh god, that's Dan!”

They turned him over. He had lacerations all over his face, his hair was caked in blood. His expression was surprisingly content. 

“Sir, you know him?” The officer asked. My eyes were blinded by tears.

“H-He’s my fiance,” I stuttered. “What happened to him?” 

“He was crossing the street and some bloke hit him. He took off before anyone could get his info,” the officer explained. I watched as they held his head steady and felt for a pulse.

“It's weak and erratic,” they said. They bought out a neck brace and put it around his neck before putting him on a backboard. They put a mask on his face and started pumping. 

“Let me go with him,” I demanded to the EMT.

“Are you family?” He asked.

“I'm his fiancé,” I lied. It wasn't fully a lie, it was supposed to hold true today, and I figured that would sound better than boyfriend in their decision for me to come with him.

“You have to stay out of the way, we're doing everything we can,” he said. I sat in the corner of the ambulance as they hooked Dan up to machines and poked and prodded at him. It all felt unreal, like a bad dream I begged to wake up from.

Dan was so pale. The crimson red coming from his body contrasted against his flesh in a way that made me fear the worst.

At the hospital, I had to watch them take Dan away as I was led to the waiting room. 

I sat for what felt like an eternity, my leg shaking and unable to stop crying. How could this happen to Dan, on today of all days? Today was supposed to be the best day ever, things weren’t supposed to end like this.

The lump in my throat felt bigger than the lump in my pocket, a grim reminder of what I was supposed to be doing right now. I should be proposing to him right now, not waiting for someone to tell me he’s okay.

Finally, a doctor came out to the room.

“Daniel Howell?” 

I jumped up, my heart beating out of my chest.

“We’ve done everything we could…” His words faded to nothing as I felt my heart stop.

“Can I see him?” I cut him off. Tears were flowing freely as I looked passed him at the double doors. “I-I need to see him.”

The doctor looked over to the nurse and she walked over to me, leading me back. The second I saw him I broke. I ran over to the bed and caressed his lifeless face. 

“You can’t be dead, you can’t! I was gonna propose to you, we were gonna get married and adopt a baby and be the best parents ever. Please, wake up, please.” I held onto his body and sobbed uncontrollably. “WAKE UP!” My arm was on his chest and it felt like an empty cavity. The once steady beat that would soothe me to sleep was gone. There was no flutter when he woke up and saw me with my head on his chest. It was empty. Dead.

My love was dead.

I felt the nurse place a hand on my shoulder and I shook my head. I took the ring out of my pocket and removed the band from the box. I slipped it onto his cold finger and sobbed as I kissed his hand.

We didn’t even vow till death do us part when he left me.

The nurse led me into a room where the gave me information and his things. On top was a velvet box and a piece of paper.

_ “Phil, from the day we met at the Waterloo station to this very moment, you have taken my life and transformed it. I used to think I was destined for a life to be some lonely college drop out, but you showed me that anything is possible. Through your love, I have learned to love myself in ways I never imagined. You are like the sun to me, and I am your moon, a dark, useless rock until you came and shone your light on me. I never believed in soulmates, or love, for that matter, but the day I met you I learned what it all meant. You are everything and more to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Phil Lester. Will you marry me? (no homo tho XD)” _

In the box was a gold band. He was gonna propose to me. 

I don’t know how I left the hospital. I let my feet carry me like a mindless zombie down the road. I held the box in my hand as I climbed on top of a ledge. Tourist started to gasp and people yelled for me to get down. I turned away from the water and let myself fall.

I fell and fell and fell. My fall felt endless, but eventually I hit the water and felt nothing but the fall as life evaded me.

I assumed if there was an afterlife and if this was it, I was falling directly into hell. 

Eventually the sensation of feeling stopped and I felt a flat surface against my back. I opened the eyes I didn't realise I had closed to see a blonde man standing above me.

“That was unexpected,” he said. I sat up and looked at him.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“Dead, for one. And you're everywhere and nowhere at once,” he said.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Gabriel, your guardian angel,” Gabriel said. “Suicide, that's the last thing I expected from you of all those under my charge. You were supposed to live a long life, you were to wed Daniel and have kids with him.”

“He's dead too,” I said. “He died, and I killed myself.” The words sounded so strange to hear myself say.

“That definitely wasn't supposed to be in Daniel's future…” Gabriel pondered. “You two are soulmates. In every universe, every plane of existence, your souls are linked to come together and are destined to have a long life together.”

“We didn't even get proposed…” I trailed off, recalling the whole thing vividly. A part of me couldn’t believe that I had just jumped to my death, but an even larger part of me couldn’t believe Dan was gone. Gabriel was pacing around, pondering before he turned to me.

“No, that can’t be right. You’re only what, 30?” Gabriel asked.

“29,” I groaned. 

“Either way, you and Daniel weren’t supposed to die for quite a few decades from now,” Gabriel said. “You were to live to be great, great grandparents.”

“What are you saying?” I asked.

“I need time to figure out what has happened, because this is not what fate held for you,” Gabriel said. He turned to me. “I can give you one night. You need to make sure Daniel doesn’t die.”

“What?” I asked. 

“I’m sending you back to this morning.You need to prevent Daniel’s death,” Gabriel said. Without any further words, he pressed his fingers to my head and everything faded to black.


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke to the feeling of someone caressing my face. Opening my eyes, I looked up to see Dan. I let out a shaky breath, it had all been a dream.

“You were crying,” Dan said, wiping the tears that flowed. “Is everything alright?”

“I just had a bad dream,” I said, sitting up and hugging him tightly. My head against his chest, I heard his steady heartbeat. He was alive. We were both alive and everything was just a dream. It had all been a nightmare. I pulled him onto my chest and we lied there for a moment while I regained my composure.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dan asked after a while.

“I wanna forget it. Plus I don't wanna spoil your big day,” I said. I kissed him softly. “Happy birthday Danny.” I didn't want to stop holding him after that dream, but I remembered my grand plan for today.

“I have to get working on your breakfast, you get some more sleep love,” I said. 

“Alright love,” Dan said, kissing me softly. I went into the kitchen and got to work making him pancakes. From the room, I heard Dan put a record on and fill the flat with the sweet sound of Muse.

As I cooked, I couldn't stop thinking about the dream. I never wanted to think about losing Dan. Since I had 4 years on him in age, I always thought I would never have to see that day. But the dream was so vivid...it felt real.

I wrapped up making breakfast, noticing the music had stopped from the bedroom. I felt Dan's hands snake around my waist.

“Can I kiss the cook?” Dan asked, nuzzling my neck. 

“It’s actually encouraged in this kitchen,” I said, turning around and pressing my lips against his. His hands fell to my waist, pushing me back against the counter. I stuck my hand out to maintain balance as we made out, and it landed right on one of the surfaces on the stove. 

“Shit!” I winced, pulling my hand away and almost knocking Dan over. I reached for him as he slipped, grabbing him with the hand I just burned. “Shit!” I exclaimed again, letting go of Dan. 

“Let me see you spork,” Dan said, grabbing my hand. He walked me over to the sink and ran my hand under cold water. “The flat would surely burn down without me here.”

And then it all hit me.

That was exactly what happened in my dream.

“You alright lion?” Dan asked. I felt a lump in my throat.

“I'm gonna go get a bandage,” I said, running to the bathroom. I ran the water and splashed it in my face. My heart was racing and I couldn't process my thoughts. I looked up in the mirror and saw Gabriel standing behind me. I gasped and turned around.

“No, it wasn't a dream Philip,” Gabriel said. “Someone has messed with fate, and you need to make sure he doesn't die today so fate can be restored to normal.”

“Then just don't take him to get his haircut, yeah?” I asked.

“I wish it was that easy,” Gabriel said. “When fate wants something, she'll keep trying until it happens. You need to make sure he lives to see tomorrow, and things will be back to normal. You have one night.” 

Gabriel disappeared with that. My breathing was heavy and my head was spinning. I gasped when I heard Dan knock on the door.

“Philly? Are you alright then?” Dan asked through the door. I opened it and threw my arms around him.

“I'm fine,” I said, pressing my lips against his cheek. “I just wanna make sure you have the best day ever.”

“It already is because I'm with you,” Dan cupped my cheeks and kissed me. “Now I believe you made me some pancakes.”

We went back to the kitchen at sat at the breakfast bar. It was just like what I already experienced. I gave him the phone case, he dribbled syrup on his shirt, and shamed me for drinking coffee over tea. As we put away the dishes, my phone went off.

“I got the rest love,” Dan said. I went into the other room and answered.

“Hey mate, I just wanted to let you know the interview got moved up to 13:30, so we're gonna have to do it earlier,” PJ said.

“Alright that works, we had a change in morning plans anyway,” Phil said.

“Sweet, I'll see you then,” PJ said, hanging up. I looked at my phone and breathed a sigh of relief. It was 10:45. And Dan was alive and well. I walked back into the lounge to see Dan standing on the breakfast bar, changing a lightbulb. He stretched to reach it and slipped. My heart stopped as I ran over and caught him before he hit the counter with his neck.

“Dan, you could've died! Why didn't you just call maintenance!?” I shouted. 

“I didn't feel like waiting forever to get the light fixed,” Dan said, defensively. I let him go and he sat up on the counter. I ran my fingers through my hair as I paced the kitchen.

“Phil, you've been acting strange all morning,” Dan said. I turned around, tears flowing down my face. Dan hopped off the counter and wiped my tears before pulling me into his chest. I held him tightly and cried hysterically.

“I'm sorry Dan, I'm sorry,” I whispered.

“What's got you so worked up?” Dan asked. I pressed myself tighter against his chest, hearing his heart beat steadily. I let out a shaky breath.

“I dreamed that you...that you died,” I whispered. “And I never want to lose you Danny. It would kill me.”

“I'm right here Philly. It was just a dream,” Dan comforted me. “I'm sorry I scared you.”

“It's fine,” I sniffled, drying my eyes. “I want you to have the best day ever today Dan. Don't worry about me and this silly dream. Today is about you.”

“It's alright Phil,” Dan said.

“Get dressed, love. I've got a big surprise for you,” I said. 

We went into our bedroom and picked out our clothes. Dan had picked out that jumper and black jeans again, while I opted for my blue heart button down.

“Ooh, your club shirt?” Dan commented. “Should I dress up a little bit more?” 

“You look beautiful either way, and I love that jumper on you,” I said. “Wear what you want, whatever you feel comfy in.” 

With our clothes laid out, we went into the bathroom and showered together. I'd be lying if I said only showering went on in there though.

We got dressed and Dan was straightening his hair. While he was busy, I slipped the ring into my pocket.

“Your curls are so cute babe,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist as I entered the bathroom.

“I look like a hobbit,” Dan chuckled. Once we were ready, we left the flat and walked to the Tube station down the street. I held his hand tightly and kept him close to me as we did. As we waited in line to scan our Oyster cards, my phone went off with a text.

_ From  _ **_Peej_ ** _ : 999, need you at the studio ASAP _

“Shit,” I muttered. The plan was all set up.

“What's wrong?” Dan asked.

“PJ just text me, there's an emergency at the studio. I know this is your big day, but I promise I'll make up for it,” I said.

“It's fine Philly I understand,” Dan said. I kissed him.

“You're the best Bear,” I said. On the Tube ride, there was no near death experiences, unless you count the door almost closing on Dan’s bum, to which he joked was like the time we first met.

We walked into the studio, and I pulled out my badge and showed security, getting a temporary pass for Dan. We went up to the broadcasting studio and Dan gasped.

The studio was decorated with balloons and a banner that said Happy Birthday Dan. The best part was Muse, the real life Muse, sitting there playing our song.

“Phil, you spork,” Dan said, choking up as he kissed me. We watched them play our song and Dan had tears in his eyes. PJ was at the mic once the song ended.

“And that was Muse, live in studio with Unintended,” PJ said. “And we've got another guest in here, Phil Lester, a friend of mine from next door, PA on many of your favourite BBC One shows. Phil has a very important question to ask.”

Dan looked at me, knowing, as I got down on one knee.

“Dan, I love you so much and I can't imagine my life without you. Since the day we met, I knew you were going to be special to me, and over the past 4 years, you've made me realise you're going to be the one I always love. Daniel James Howell, will you marry me?” I asked, opening the ring box. Dan had tears in his eyes as he nodded.

“Yes,” he whispered. “Yes.” I put the ring on his finger and pulled him into a kiss. Dan and I cried tears of joy as we held each other.

“He said yes everybody!” PJ announced, everyone erupting into cheer. I held him tightly. We were going to get married, and in an instant, all memory of the horrors of his death were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is kind of short, it's the shortest of all the chapters I already have written. Since I have most of the chapters ready to go at this point, I should be able to upload every Wednesday!


	3. Chapter 3

Dan's birthday surprise only got better from there. I got the band to sign a vinyl of “Origin of Symmetry”, and we got to take pictures with them. Dan's smile was making everything so worth it.

“I'm a bit hungry,” Dan said as we left the studio.

“There's a vegan restaurant not to far from here, they have that jackfruit burger you love,” I said.

“Sounds like a plan future husband,” Dan said, giving me a kiss. “I can't believe we're getting married.”

“Me either,” I said with a smile. We got to the intersection and Dan was staring awestruck at his ring. He got to the curb and kept walking.

“DANIEL!” I gasped, yanking him back just as a bus drove passed.

“Shit that was close,” Dan chuckled. My heart was racing and Dan could tell. “It’s okay Phil, I’m here, I’m okay.”

“Let’s get to the restaurant, yeah?” I said. We walked on to the restaurant and ordered our food. As we waited, I saw Dan toying with his ring, smiling as he glanced down at it. I smiled at him, pulling out my phone and snapping a picture of him and uploading it to twitter. _“Birthday boy is loving his present. Meet the future Mr. Lester”_.

“What kind of wedding should we have?” I asked.

“I want something kind of big, but still intimate,” Dan said. “Like I want to have decorations and a theme and stuff, but only with our close friends and family.”

“Yeah, and our first dance can be to Unintended,” I said, holding his hand on top of the table. “Should we have it in London or go up north?”

“London is where we met and where we fell in love,” Dan said. I smiled at him and melted in his words.

“And we could go somewhere fun for our honeymoon,” I added.

“Ooh, we’ve always wanted to go to Japan,” Dan said.

“So that’s it then? A London wedding and a Japanese honeymoon?” I asked.

“Yeah. We can get married in the spring, so we can see the cherry blossoms,” Dan said. He lit up talking about this. Our wedding. Our future. Our family. My guardian angel had said it, we were to live a long life, _together_. We just had to get through today.

Our food came and we ate our burgers. I glanced at my phone to see loads of congratulation messages pouring in from twitter. Somehow being a production assistant on a few tv shows made me famous enough for a verified twitter account and over 800 thousand followers. I watched Dan from across the table, the sun hitting his hair and creating a beautiful glow. He was so beautiful, and so alive.

After lunch, we walked around London for a while, just enjoying being outside in each others company.

We went to Trafalgar Square, watching the kids try and get on the lions.

“I bet you I can mount the lion,” I exclaimed, running towards the pillars.

“Phil, please don't,” Dan called after me. I hopped up on top of the pillars and climbed the lion. I posed at the top with my arms up shout my “Wooo!”, laughing as Dan took a picture. I slid off the lion and jumped down the pillar over to Dan.

“You are actually a child!” Dan chuckled, wrapping his arm around me as we went to find somewhere to sit.

We sat on the edge of the fountain and watched people walk around. Kids were playing around and it was just a perfect day.

“Do you think about us having kids?” I asked.

“I do, a lot, but that would seriously break the laws of biology,” Dan joked.

“I know that silly, but I mean there are loads of kids out there who need a good home who don't have one. We could be there for them,” I said. He looked down at his hands with a smile.

“Do you think we should start looking into it?” Dan asked. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Do you want to become a parent?” I asked. “If we do this, it's gonna be a full time commitment, one of us will have to cut back on work for a few years.”

“Phil...I've always wanted kids. Like you know when they would give you those little robot babies in health class? I was so excited to take it home and take care of it,” Dan said with a smile. "I just liked thought of a new life depending on me and loving me." 

“How many kids would you want?” I asked.

“2 or 3. I would be the best parent ever to them, and you would too,” Dan said.

“I've always heard the adoption process takes really long,” Phil said. “Maybe we should start the process now, so once we’re married all we have to do is wait.”

“We might need a bigger flat,” Dan said. “We depend on having that room as an office, we'd probably need a 3 bedroom.”

“So on the agenda for tomorrow, wedding planning, flat hunting, and googling how to adopt?” I chuckled.

“Basically yeah,” Dan said. He kissed me softly. “You're going to be a great dad.”

“I already am a giant kid, it makes sense,” I said with a smile.

As it neared the end of the day, we decided to see a movie at the cinema. I don’t know what film we saw, since we spent most of the film snogging like teenagers.

“There’s one more place I want to go,” Dan said. We got on the Bakerloo line and I knew immediately: we’re going to where we first met.

The train stopped at the Waterloo station and we got off. We stood on the mostly empty platform and he held my hands.

“Phil, from the day we met right here to this very moment, you have taken my life and transformed it. I used to think I was destined for a life to be some lonely college drop out, but you showed me that anything is possible. Through your love, I have learned to love myself in ways I never imagined. You are like the sun to me, and I am your moon, a dark, useless rock until you came and shone your light on me. I never believed in soulmates, or love, for that matter, but the day I met you I learned what it all meant. You are everything and more to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know you already did it, but damn it I already bought the ring and prepared this speech,” Dan chuckled, tears in his eyes. He got down on one knee and pulled out a ring. “Phil Lester. Will you marry me?”

“Gee I’m not sure,” I joked with tears in my eyes. “Of course I’ll marry you Danny.”

We kissed and he put the ring on my finger, the few people on the platform clapping for us.

“I can’t believe you dragged me all the way out here to propose,” I chuckled.

“I’m sentimental,” Dan said, holding me as we walked to the platform to get back to our flat. We had to go from Northern line to the Piccadilly line to get to the Central line. Dan and I had become masters of the underground so we thought nothing of our journey home.

We were walking down to the platform for the Piccadilly line at Leicester Square when we heard people scream. I turned around to see a man point a gun at Dan and pull the trigger.

Life moved in slow motion as I jumped in front of Dan, knocking him to the ground with a piercing pain in my chest.

I heard another gunshot and the commotion stopped, he must’ve shot himself. Dan moved from under me and let out a horrified scream.

“SOMEONE CALL 999,” Dan exclaimed. I felt nothing but the pain of the wound burning in my chest. He straddled me and took off his jumper, pressing it onto the wound that blood was pouring out of.

“Don’t you die on me Philip, keep your eyes fixed on me love,” Dan said, panic in his voice. I stared at Dan, the lights of the station leaving a halo behind his head. I could feel blood rising up my throat and filling my lungs. I stared at Dan, blood now coming out of my mouth.

“Please, Phil, please don’t leave me. Please Phil,” Dan sobbed. I weakly reached my hand up and grabbed his.

“I saved you,” I choked out. “You...couldn’t...die.”

“You’re not gonna die either Phil, let me see those beautiful blue eyes,” Dan said. His voice seemed farther and father and the light was fading from view. I could only see his face, and the halo from the light.

“No Phil, no, no, no, c’mon keep them open baby,” Dan said. “Please!”

I could hear the sirens wailing in the distance as everything faded. It felt like I was drowning and falling all over again. I was drowning in my own blood as it filled my lungs. The burning pain faded to a dull ache and then to nothing.

Suddenly I was standing at the altar.

I was holding Dan’s hands as he said his vows.

“I told you that I never believed in love or soulmates. That’s because I never believed that I would have that. I never thought I’d have this moment, right here, with someone that I love and someone who loves me back unconditionally. I never thought that sticking my head in the path of a moving Underground door would lead to this moment, right here, but it did. Our love became something so deep, so real and so special, that it made me finally see that there’s a reason for everything, and that reason was to lead me here to marry you, my soulmate. You are my light, and you've shown me more love than I've ever known. I promise to hold your hand every night and to never let us lose our spark, I promise to be your best friend, I promise to love you until the day I die, no matter what life throws our way. I, Daniel James Howell, take you, Philip Michael Lester, to be my best friend, my co-adviser in mischief, and most importantly, my husband. With this ring, I thee wed.”

“I now pronounce you Daniel and Philip Howell-Lester. You may kiss your husband.”

The kiss swirled into a new vision. We were standing in a hospital, looking in the nursery. The nurse wheeled in the bassinet and there was a little bundle of baby wrapped in pink.

“There she is,” Dan said with a shaky breath. “Melody Howell-Lester.”

I had my arms wrapped around Dan as the nurse looked in our direction.

“Are you her fathers?” she asked. We nodded. “She’s about to get her shots, she could use the comfort.”

We walked into the nursery standing on either side of Melody. Her eyes were still closed, but she opened her hazel eyes and looked right at me. My heart swelled as she held onto my finger. Dan comforted her as she got her shots, our little trooper barely crying. Once her shots were over, we were allowed to hold her. I watched Dan hold our little girl for the first time and everything felt right as my mind swirled into another vision.

It was Christmas morning. Dan and I watched our two kids open their presents as we cuddled on the couch.

“Papa, look what Dilly got me!” Melody exclaimed as she held up her Squirtle.

“Wow, your very own Squirtle,” I praised. “Good pick Dylan.”

My mind kept jumping from scene to scene to scene of our life together before I saw Dan on top of me, tears staining his face.

“Please Phil, just a little while longer baby,” Dan said shakily. I could see that the once tan jumper was now a deep red, reminding me of the fate I had lived already tonight.

I had one night to save Dan, and I did.

As my vision faded one last time, I heard a voice in my mind.

 _It’s not your time_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit early but my grandma is coming into town tomorrow.
> 
> Remember, new chapters on Wednesdays!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dan's POV*

Everything happened so fast.

I saw the man fire the gun at me, and I didn't have time to react before Phil pushed me down before falling slightly on top of me. I heard another gunshot and people screaming that he was dead. Thinking the horror was over, I moved from underneath Phil and saw the hole in his shirt and blood pouring out of it. I scream for help.

“SOMEONE CALL 999,” I shouted as I pulled off my jumper and straddled Phil. I pressed the jumper against the wound to stop the bleeding.

“Don’t you die on me Philip, keep your eyes fixed on me love,” I said. Phil slowly moved his head to look at me. His skin was growing pale and tears were forming in his eyes. He let out a small cough, blood spurting out of his mouth. My stomach dropped and I let my tears flow freely.

“Please, Phil, please don’t leave me. Please Phil,” I sobbed. He grabbed my hand

“I saved you,” he spoke in a hoarse voice. “You...couldn’t...die.”

“You’re not gonna die either Phil, let me see those beautiful blue eyes,” I begged. His eyes began to flutter as I felt the blood soaking through my jumper and staining my hands. I could feel his pounding heart fade. He closed his eyes.

“No Phil, no, no, no, c’mon keep them open baby,” I begged. “Please!”

For a second, I saw his eyes open one last time before his head fell limp and his heartbeat slowly faded. I started to cry hysterically, pressing my head to his.

“WAKE UP!” I screamed as I cried harder and harder. I couldn't see straight through my tears. I willed myself to wake up from this nightmare, and for Phil to wake up period. This day had been a fairytale dream, but life’s no fairytale, and not everyone gets a happy ending.

“We were going to get married, Philip. In 10 months time, we were going to get married, and go to Japan, and have kids and have a life, _together_. You promised me Phil, YOU PROMISED!” I shouted. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see the EMTs. I moved out of their way and watched them press their fingers to his neck.

“We’ve got a weak pulse. He's hanging on by a thread.”

I let a choked out sob out. He was still there. Another EMT pulled me to the side.

“You know him?” She asked.

“He's my fiancé,” I said. “His name is Phil, Philip Michael Lester, he's 29.”

“You did a good job trying to slow down the bleeding,” she said, trying to comfort me. It sounded more like a ‘you've done all you could’ but I could've done more. That should be me, he was aiming at me. I didn't have to take him all the way out to Waterloo just to propose. I didn't even have to propose, I could've just given him the ring when he proposed to me or something.

We should be tucked away in our bed, celebrating our engagement, we should be announcing to our friends and families that we were getting married. We should be anywhere but in this situation.

I watched them load Phil onto the stretcher and followed them up to the street where an ambulance was waiting. In the ambulance, they made me sit in the corner while they worked on Phil. They put a tube down his throat, an IV in his arm, and attached a heart monitor to him. The cut off his shirt and cleaned the area around his wound before covering it with gauze.

The ride to the hospital felt endless, but once at the hospital, they rushed Phil back.

“Male, aged 29, gunshot wound to the chest, displaying signs of shock. BP 80 over 50 and dropping, pulse is faint at 120.” One of the doctors said. A nurse stopped me.

“You can't go past here,” she said.

“Please, I need to know he's okay,” I said.

“The doctors are doing all they can for him. We need you to tell us his information and the police have a few questions for you,” she explained. She took note of the blood on my hands and clothes. “Would you like to get cleaned up first?”

I looked down at my white undershirt that was heavily stained with his blood and nodded. She led me to the bathroom and I scrubbed my skin raw getting his blood off of me. She gave me one of the nurses’ shirts to put on and I answered all their questions about Phil's health history.

The police had questions about what exactly happened, but there wasn't much beyond we were just trying to go home and he got shot. They offered to phone Phil’s family for me, which I appreciated because I wasn't ready to have that conversation with Phil’s mum.

I went into the waiting room and pulled out my phone. The case was covered with pictures of us, and my screensaver was us kissing on the Eye. My tears fell onto the screen as I unlocked it and called my mum.

“Happy birthday love, did you get my message?” Mum asked.

“Mummy…” I choked out. “I need you.”

“Where are you?” she asked.

“Saint Joseph’s...Phil was shot,” I explained, my voice breaking.

“I'll be there as soon as I can,” Mum said.

My hometown was only an hour from London, but Phil’s family lived 4 hours up north. I didn't want to be alone for that long. I could phone our friends, and I'm sure they would rush to be here, but I couldn't bring myself to utter those words again.

I was never very religious, but in that moment, I found it in myself to pray to whatever higher being had control over this cruel life that Phil was okay.

“Philip Lester?” a doctor called in the waiting room. I stood and approached him. ”He had gone into shock and his left lung collapsed. He's in emergency surgery now.”

“Is he gonna be okay?” I asked.

“He was brought here in good time and the measures you took at the scene have increased his chances of survival-”

“Don't. Tell me upfront. What are his odds?” I asked.

“He's fighting with everything in him. He's strong, but he's down one lung and the other is struggling to hold on. If we can save his lungs, I'm almost certain he’ll walk out of here in a week or two. That's all we can hope for,” the doctor told me before returning to the trauma unit.

I paced the waiting room, tears flowing down my cheeks. My hair had curled but I didn't care. I looked down at the engagement ring on my finger and held it against my chest.

“Please Phil,” I begged.

I was sat in the corner when my mum came in. I immediately held her and let out the big sobs I had been keeping in. She held me and let me get it out until I was exhausted from crying. We sat and I rested my head on her as she ran her fingers through my hair.

“What happened?” She asked.

“We got engaged,” I started, showing her the ring. She held my hand, I could tell that she wasn't sure if it was appropriate to congratulate me, so I decided to continue. “I guess we had both been planning on popping the question, and he did it this afternoon. We had just went around and to the cinema and were heading home when I got the idea to propose to him at Waterloo station. It was so out of our way, but I'm sentimental about where we first met.

“We were headed home and we were making our transfer to the Piccadilly line at Leicester Square when out of nowhere this guy started shooting. He aimed it right at me but Phil pushed me out of the way, but got hit,” I said. “They said he went into shock and lost consciousness, and his lung collapsed. He's been in surgery for a while now.”

“I'm so sorry Danny bear,” Mum said.

“We already had it all planned out,” I whispered. “We were gonna get married in April, have a honeymoon in Japan, move into a bigger flat, and adopt children.”

“And you're still going to do all of those things,” Mum said.

“He's just become so much to me...I don't know who I am without Phil anymore. I've been with him for 6 years, he's been a part of me for my whole adult life,” I said. Mum rubbed my back to comfort me.

“And you've turned into a wonderful young man with him. You've come out of your shell, you've been so much happier, and I can tell you love each other so genuinely,” Mum said. She tightened her hold on me. “Focus on the positive. How did he propose?”

“He worked out this crazy scheme,” I said with a smile. “Our friend PJ works over at the radio station, and Muse was coming in for an interview and Phil and PJ got them to play our song live and then he proposed to me live on the air.”

“Oh wow,” Mum said in awe.

“He promised me today was going to be the best day ever…” I trailed off. “Ironically enough, he had a dream last night that I died. He had been worked up all day about it, and he jumped to save me from the bullet. I'll never forgive myself if he dies.”

“It's not your fault love,” Mum said. “There's nothing you could've done different. You didn't pull the trigger, you aren't responsible for this.”

“But I feel so guilty,” I whispered. I felt so small sitting in the waiting room. I always got anxiety over the thought of my own mortality and existence. We have this one life that is so delicate and can be taken away at the blink of an eye. I was always caught up trying to make my existence mean something, trying so hard to exist that I forgot to live, until I slowed down and fell in love.

Loving Phil made me feel so alive and free. Since the first night we fell asleep together on his sofa, I knew that I wanted to wake up in his arms every morning. Just being near him made my day a million times better, like my soul was complete and at rest with his. Right now though, deep in my soul, I hurt. I had a physical ache in my chest to just hold Phil and be with him through this all.

The worst thing I thought of was Phil dying back there alone.

Time passed so painfully slow before a doctor finally came out into the waiting room.

“Philip Lester?”

Mum and I walked over to the doctor.

“We managed to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding. However, his body had begun to shut down and organ failure began in his kidneys and liver. We have him on dialysis and he's still intubated, but the rest is up to him,” the doctor said. Mum squeezed my shoulder for comfort.

“Can I see him?” I asked.

“He's in the ICU, room 210.”

The walk to the ICU was the longest five minutes of my life. I felt a lump in my throat as we approached room 210.

Entering the room, I heard the steady beat of the heart monitor and compression of the breathing machine. Rounding the corner, I nearly fell to my knees.

Phil was almost as pale as the white bedsheets and he had tubes and machines seemingly connected from every point of his body. I pulled the chair to the bedside and held his hand. My tears fell on his arm as I began to cry hysterically.

I didn't understand how he could look so peaceful after everything that had just happened.

“He can still hear you,” Mum said. “I'm sure he wants to hear your voice and know you're here. Do you want me to give you some privacy?” Mum asked.

“Yes,” I whispered. I waited to hear the door close before I caressed his face.

“Phil, I need you here with me, okay? I know you're probably in the worst pain you've ever been in, but you can't leave me yet baby. I've only had you in my life for a short 6 years and you promised me a lifetime. We've got a wedding to plan, a honeymoon to go on, and a family to start,” I said. “Please, Phil, just wake up. Pull through this, for me love. I love you so much Philly, so, so much. Please come back to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ironing out the last two chapters, so they will be done and up over the next 2 Wednesdays, and I've got two more Dan and Phil stories I'm working on, I will keep this page updated with any fic news: http://stevefromgasnsip.co.vu/fics


	5. Chapter 5

They wouldn't let mum stay with us, so I gave her the keys to the flat for the night. Phil's family would be here in the morning. I really hoped his family coming would help pull him out of this.

I was utterly exhausted, sitting at Phil's bedside holding his hand. I rested my head on the bed and closed my eyes for a moment.

I awoke with a blanket on my shoulders and I wasn't sure how it got there. I sat up and saw a nurse taking Phil’s vitals.

“You must be the other Mr. Lester,” she said. “I'm Melody, Philip’s nurse.”

“I'm not the other Mr. Lester yet,” I said. “We're engaged.”

“They said you haven't left his side all night,” Melody said. “And he knows that. His charts show a spike in his vitals ever since you were let back.”

“Really?” I asked hopefully. She nodded.

“His vitals were still quite on edge after surgery, but they've shown an increase. They say soulmates have that effect on each other,” Melody said with a smile. I smiled and stroked Phil's hand.

“When we first started going out, he would fall asleep with his head on my chest and tell me he could hear my heart flutter when I looked at him,” I said. As I squeezed his hand, his heartbeat increased.

“You're helping him a lot,” Melody said. “How long have you been engaged?” 

“Not even a full day. We've been dating for almost 6 years, though,” I said.

“He’s been really strong ever since he got here, he’s a fighter for sure,” Melody said. She made note of his vitals before leaving the room. I held his hand and rested my head on the bed again.

“Do you wonder what we’d name our kids?” I asked. “Or whose last name we’ll take. Daniel Lester, Philip Howell…” I trailed off. I never had issues talking with Phil, but now I was at a loss for words. 

“Your family should be here soon,” I said, glancing at the clock. “I can't wait to tell them all about our plans.”

I could just picture it. We'd have a classic black and white wedding, although Phil would insist we throw a little colour in. We'd have cherry blossoms everywhere, and we'd write our own vows. We'd probably pick an orchestral version of one of our favourite songs to walk down the aisle to, and our first dance would be to Unintended. After the ceremony we'd head straight to the airport and spend the next week in Japan. I imagined our future flat, something still in London but big enough to raise a family in. I could feel the flutter in my heart at the thought of holding our daughter and son for the first time, watching them grow up and go off to have families of their own.

I was caught up in my daydream when I heard a knock at the door. Phil’s dad came in first, holding his mum as she saw Phil. I stood and let her sit next to Phil. Martyn looked over me.

“You look like you've seen hell,” he noted, leading me into the hall. We went down to the canteen and grabbed some coffees.

“What happened?” Martyn asked.

“We were just going home,” I said, my voice breaking. Martyn placed a hand on my shoulder as I started to cry. “Phil proposed to me earlier, but I had been planning to propose to him as well. I wanted to do it at Waterloo, because that’s where we met. We were making a transfer when this guy just started shooting. He jumped in front of the bullet to save me. That should be me in there, not him, that should be me…”

Martyn pulled me into a hug as I became hysterical. “You and I both know how Phil is, he’s not gonna leave us like this,” Martyn said.

“It’s all my fault,” I said.

“No it’s not,” Martyn said. “Phil would be so mad at you if he knew you blamed yourself. You did nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all.”

We stood in the lobby, both crying for quite some time before heading to the elevators.   


“You should go home and freshen up,” Martyn said. I shook my head.

“I can’t leave him,” I said. 

“It’s alright, Dan. We’re here and we’ll call you if anything changes. You need a little de-stressor and a good shower would probably do you well,” Martyn said. He was right. I was sore from sleeping on the chair and my hair just felt greasy, not to mention I was wearing scrubs from the nurse.

We got to the ICU and I walked in, Phil's mum wrapping up whatever she had said to him.

“I'm gonna run home and freshen up, call me if anything changes,” I said. I walked over to Phil and held his hand. “I'll be right back love. I love you so much.” I left a kiss on his forehead and reluctantly left the hospital room.

Stepping outside of the hospital felt wrong. Since last night, life had felt dark and empty, but stepping out onto the streets of London and seeing life going on as if nothing happened angered me. How dare the world be so colourful and joyful when something so tragic had just happened?

I got to the flat right as my mum was about to come back to the hospital. She told me she would wait for me so she could drive. 

I took a cold shower, most of which I spent crying. I couldn't help but think of the worst outcome. I imagined walking into our flat alone, all of our plans unfinished. 

I didn't want to wait until spring to marry Phil, I wanted to be his husband right now. I didn't want to wait to adopt a kid, I wanted to be a father with Phil right now. I wanted our life, the one I had dreamed of. 

I got out of the shower and I looked horrible. I dried my hair, not bothering to straighten it. My eyes looked exhausted and my skin was pale. I dug my palms into my eyes to will myself to stop crying.

I changed into one of Phil’s jumpers and jeans, meeting my mum in the lounge. She had made me breakfast, but I didn't feel like eating.

“You've got to eat sweetheart, Phil is going to need you strong when he wakes,” Mum said. I ate half of the breakfast before she drove me to the hospital.

As the elevator doors opened, a group of nurses ran past with a defibrillator.

_ Code Blue in Room 210 _

“PHIL!” My voice cracked as I ran. I rounded the corner and saw them usher Phil’s family out. His dad and brother were holding his mum as she cried. “PHIL!” 

My heart felt like it stopped as I heard the alarms going off from the room. Phil was dying, if not already dead.

I pushed past visitors who paused in the hall and ran to the door, getting stopped by Melody.

“Let me through. Please, let me through!” I screamed, fighting the nurses. “PHIL!” Nurses were holding me back and pulling me out of the room.

“I need to see him, I need to be there, please! Phil!” I was hysterical crying, trying to free my arms from their grasps. Martyn grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, mum following suit. Before I knew it, we were standing in the hall holding each other crying as the sound of the flatline filled the hall.

“One more and then we're gonna call it,” I heard the doctor say. I could feel my soul shattering into pieces. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.

The first time I saw Phil running for the train, I didn’t think it would come to this. If he came to the train on time, or if the train had been late, or if the train had left just the fraction of a second sooner, I would have never met Phil Lester. He had just been some bloke I felt sorry for because he was going to miss the train. Now he was my everything. It only took me a month to completely and utterly fall in love with him. 6 years in and my soul was intertwined with his, an unbreakable bond th at you only hear of in films. I love him, oh God I love him. He couldn’t leave me, not now. Not like this.

I held onto his family even tighter as the sound of the flatline droned on. My legs gave out and I fell to the ground in tears. “PHILIP PLEASE!” I cried out.

_ Clear! _

There was a brief second where I could’ve sworn I felt Phil holding me. The next moment, the sound of a steady heartbeat broke the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot that I have a convention next week, so I will be posting the final chapter this weekend instead of next Wednesday


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV

Life was fading in and out of view constantly.

Every fibre of my being willed me to let go. My brain had been starved from oxygen for so long that my organs had begun to fail. The bullet ricocheted through me and completely wrecked my lungs. 

Seeing Dan’s angelic face fade in and out of view reminded me to keep fighting. I opened my eyes and saw Gabriel. I looked around at the scene before us. Dan was on top of me using his jumper to stop the bleeding as EMTs moved in. Everything was moving in slow motion with double vision, making me dizzy.

“When your soul leaves your body but remains in this realm, you need time to adjust,” Gabriel said.

“Am I dead?!” I gasped. I felt like I couldn’t breathe My chest hurt and I could feel the weight of Dan on top of me. Gabriel grabbed me and made me look at him.

“Look at me. What your feeling is what your physical body is feeling. Concentrate, you’re not in there anymore. You need to focus on anything but the pain,” Gabriel said. I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of Dan, the feelings of pain disappearing. “It’s not your time.”

“What is this?” I asked.

“Your physical body is damaged. Your soul has left your mortal body so it can heal. The pain was too intense,” Gabriel explain. “This is what it’s like to be in a coma. Your soul is still connected to your body, but at the same time is separate. Where your body can’t move right now, you can, but you can’t be too far from your body otherwise you will die.”

“Why?” I whispered. “WHY!?”

Gabriel was silent.

“You knew, didn’t you?” I asked.

“This night was always in your fate,” Gabriel said. “You can relive this day a million times, but it was always meant to be you who died today,”

“No,” I said. “No, you lied to me! You said Dan and I would live on together for decades to come, you lied!”

“Listen-” Gabriel started.

“No, I died originally, I died, why did you make me relive today?! Why did you make me do this? Why did you make me die all over again!?” I screamed.

“LISTEN!” Gabriel yelled. “I told you that because I don’t think it’s your time. You and Dan have so much potential. Yes, fate has decided that you were to die today, so I tried to change it. By doing that, I accidentally killed Dan in the day you first experienced. I tried to rewrite this so many times, but I couldn’t get around it. But this is my last chance to save you. Those things I said about your future, I didn’t make up. Those things about your future you created by changing the course of fate. In the original timeline, before I messed with anything, you were shot in the back fatally and died on the spot. You were shot from the front, and you’re still alive. But you have to fight death.”

“How?” I asked.

“Stay away from the light,” Gabriel said before disappearing as my vision fell black.

Everything felt and sounded so far away. I could sense Dan. He was here with me. I focused on the feeling of him to keep myself latched to life. I willed myself to stay by holding onto him, but then he was ripped away from me.

It felt like climbing a mountain with weights tying you down to the ground, and being on the ground meant dying. When I could feel Dan near me, the weights felt nonexistent and I could see Dan’s hand reaching down trying to pull me up. The further away he grew from me, the weights became heavier and I kept slipping further and further down the mountain.

I was just so tired. Everything in me kept telling me to let go, to fall and let the light of the other side embrace me. I finally opened my eyes from my metaphorical mountain dream and saw the hospital room. Was I awake?

I looked around to see Dan enter the room with his mum. Dan was pale, his cheeks blotchy and eyes red and puffy. I smiled and held my arms out to him, but instead of him coming to wrap me in a hug he nearly fell to his knees and started crying.

“Danny…” I said. He pulled up a chair next to me and took my hand. It was then I realised he wasn't holding  _ my _ hand.

I looked behind me and saw myself lying on the bed, pale and lifeless. I was connected to countless machines and monitors and completely unconscious.

I was still just a soul separated from my body.

Dan’s tears fell on my arm as he held my hand and released a shaky breath.

“Phil, I need you here with me, okay? I know you're probably in the worst pain you've ever been in, but you can't leave me yet baby. I've only had you in my life for a short 6 years and you promised me a lifetime. We've got a wedding to plan, a honeymoon to go on, and a family to start,”Dsn said shakily. “Please, Phil, just wake up. Pull through this, for me love. I love you so much Philly, so, so much. Please come back to me.”

“I'm right here love,” I whispered. I tentatively reached my hand out and touched him, feeling a surge of strength fill me. I wanted to hold him so bad.

He fell asleep in tears holding onto my hand, his forehead resting against my arm. Time moved slow and fast all at once. My family came in and while I was focused on my mum and dad, he and Martyn had left. As I was about to wander the hospital to find them, Dan returned.

“I'll be right back love,” Dan said, kissing my forehead. No, don't leave.

“Dan!” I called after him. As he grew further away, I could feel myself get lurched back by a nonexistent weight. I was falling back down the mountain.

I hadn't left the room since I had woken up in this weird in between, but I got up and tried to follow Dan. As soon as I got to the door, everything seemed to move fast and slow at the same time and blend together in blinding lights and pits of darkness. 

I held onto the wall as I walked. The hallway seemed to go on forever and with each step, everything got brighter and I felt weaker and weaker.

It felt like I had been walking for an eternity when I finally collapsed. 

I hadn't been able to sense any pain, but in that moment my chest burned with an unbearable pain. My heart felt like it would pound out of my chest and I couldn't breathe. I lied on the ground, nurses and doctors walking passed me without notice. I stared up at the ceiling and began to let the light consume me.

The pounding in my chest stopped.

I let in a shaky breath, knowing that when I exhaled that everything would be over.

“PHIL!”

I turned my head to the side to see Dan get off the elevator. “PHIL!”

“Dan,” my voice cracked as I watched him take off down the corridor. Weakly, I pulled myself onto my stomach. I was breathing heavily and almost completely consumed by the light, but I dragged myself on with my arms. “Dan,” I repeated as I saw him and my family in tears. I felt the shocks radiate through my body, assuming it was the shock of a defibrillator. I pulled myself over to Dan and wrapped my arms around him tightly before I was pulled away into a pool of black.

 

* * *

 

I opened my eyes and winced at the light. I heard a gasp and looked over at Dan.

“Phil!” Dan wrapped his arms around me. “Oh my god, you're awake.” 

“Where am I?” I asked.

“You're at the hospital. You were shot a week ago,” Dan said. I tried to sit up, but Dan made me stop. “I’m gonna call the doctor.” 

Dan left and came back with the doctor. He looked over me and checked my vitals.

“You’re a very, very lucky man, Mr. Lester,” he said. “A few centimeters up and the bullet would have pierced your heart. A few centimeters to the right, it would’ve hit your spinal cord. Instead, you should be able to walk out of here in a few days, and be fully recovered in a few months. You must have an angel watching over you.”

I had done it. I changed fate. Dan was alive, and I was alive.

“I’ll be able to plan a wedding then?” I asked.

“As long as you don’t put yourself under too much stress,” the doctor said. “Congratulations, to the both of you.”

“I fucking hate you Phil Lester,” Dan said as he held me, tightly, but gently. 

“I know,” I said. “But I would take a million bullets for you Bear.”

“How about you just marry me as soon as you’re better instead?” Dan asked.

“Deal.”

And so, life went on.

Not everyone gets a second chance, and I was lucky enough to be given far more than that. I took everyday as a gift, because if I learned anything from this day, it’s that life is a sweet and precious thing that no one is promised. 

I stopped working as much as I did before, partly to recover, but mostly to spend time with Dan and plan our wedding. 

We got married on the 8th of April, 2017. That night, we took off for Japan and spent a week there seeing the sights and embracing the culture. When we returned to England, we moved into our new flat. It was massive compared to our old flat, the perfect size for our family, especially with our new addition, a Shiba Inu named Winston, or Winnie for short.

We were in the system for adoption for a year and a half before we got a phone call to head to Swindon. It took nearly 2 hours before we finally got there, but when we did, we were told that a baby girl was there and she was ours.

Melody Avery Howell-Lester was born on the 28th of May, 2019, and the following year on the 16th of September, 2020, we adopted Dylan Gabriel Howell-Lester, but we called him Dil.

For our 5 year anniversary in 2022, we renewed our vows and took the kids to Florida to go to Disney. 

It's crazy how in a blink of an eye 2016 became 2027. I was at the peak of my directing career at 40, having earned an Emmy for directing an episode of Sherlock in 2022, and I had been nominated for an Oscar for best director. I was currently writing a screenplay inspired by Dan and me and everything we had gone through. Dan was even acting in the film once I finished it.

As for Dan, he did some theatre work, but loved the stay at home dad job the most. In the 17 years I had known Dan, he had never seemed more at ease than he was once we became parents. He was always such a great dad to Mel and Dil.

I had one night to save Dan and change our fate, and I did. Statistically, I was halfway done with life, but I found comfort in the knowledge that there was more than these short years we live.I found comfort in the arms of my husband as we watched our dog and our sweet bundles of joy grow up.   
Life always moves on past the tragedies it holds. And ours is only just beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading, giving kudos, and leaving comments. It really kept me going when I would have writer's block on this. I was considering writing a few one-shots related to this fic, so be on the look out for those. I also have a new phanfic in the works called Infinity Street which I plan on publishing within the next month.
> 
> Thank you for your support (✿◠‿◠)


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